Burning out from the open source community and re-establishing in a new role?
Since I joined the free and open source community — somewhere around 2002, while being deployed as student of the Erasmus program in Germany, I tried to contribute as much as I could the the open source movement. Being forester by education, I had to learn all the things about programming, databases, GIS, compiling, scripting, do the community work in mailing lists, started using cvs, svn, git.
I started to test and help with the GRASS GIS project, giving feedback, writing scripts. Fixing some C-code, which nobody touched for 20+ years. Helped with the new GUI.
Learned Python and started to bring GRASS modules to the web with help of the OGC WPS standard and PyWPS project.
Meanwhile, I was lucky to attend the first FOSS4G conferences, FOSSGIS conferences, GFOSS, being member of german, italian associations. Did community work in Czechia and Slovakia. At ones, I was member of the Board of Directors of OSGeo, having the role of Secretary assigned. Going to local conferences, talking about open source, developing PyWPS — the software I loved. Arguing in mailing lists about OSGeo, FOSS4G. Member of the Conference committee.
By accident charing the FOSS4G-Central and Eastern Europe, which became FOSS4G-Europe the next years. Being in fact the only member of the conference-europe committee, who basically did all decisions, because there was nobody around at the time.
But life is not only open source software development. Life is loving my girlfriend, who became my wife. Life is new dog. Life is buying a very old house and working on it. Life is testicular cancer, surgery and two cycles of chemotherapy before the age of 30. Life is unfinished PhD studies, due to work on GRASS GIS, PyWPS, need to work. Life is local firefighters events, who needed a chairman and I was around again. Life are three boys we have. And much more.
Last time, I got payed being proud open source developer, it was in 2007, when I was working on GRASS GIS in Italy with Markus Neteler. I would love to thank Markus for the opportunity, even the time was difficult for both of us back then and did not turn out to be the best decision I made, I’m very thankful for the opportunity and time we spend together. But ever since I left the Italian research institute — I never was working on open source software in my payed time. Just did some PyWPS development in the nights and weekends.
This is my biggest fail in my life: never found position, in company, where open source would be pushed as the company model. I had chance to work in the Melown team in 2017 for short period of time, helping them to open their sources. But it was just time-limited part time job. Another fail was, I did not think about sustainable development of the PyWPS project. How to make sure, there will be enough resources in the future?
It’s fair to admit: I started a company with friends, which should do the support and development of FOSS4G. We have a successfully running workshop initiative — check it out at https://gismentors.cz. But as COVID-19 came to Europe, all the activities stopped almost at the beginning. I did not have enough power and resources to continue being full time in the business. I’ve started my full-time with MapTiler — and I’m very thankful for the great time we have together ever since.
So, I contributed less and less, trying as anyone else hard, to fight my way through my life with all the commitments I took. At one point, I could not any more. I could not do night development. I was full of reading the mails in OSGeo-Discuss mailing list, I had to work around the house, but that felt exhausting too. Going to FOSS4G Conference always was 2 workshops and 2 talks for me — but I could not any more. I needed to do my work for the living, learn new stuff, recently, I moved from member of the team to a management role and needed to stop the data processing at once and start to learn about organization, product development, agile, little bit of psychology, non-violent communication, …
When Covid striked and we had to postpone the FOSS4G-Europe 2020 in Valmiera, it was a sign for me. I abandoned PyWPS, I abandoned OSGeo, I abandoned FOSS4G. I could get some rest — nobody cared. Rest from the community, focused on what matters in life: work, family. Work for family. No more community work, no more night shifts on the software I loved with people I loved, but had so rare occasions to see in person. No more talks at FOSS4Gs.
Recently, I’ve found out, there is no topic I could talk about any more. I do not open source software development. I do not even use it in my daily life (I use GDAL quite a lot, do bunch of Python scripts for automation … but is that something to talk about on my level? Hardly). Why to go to FOSS4G, when there is nothing you can submit, nothing to contribute with?
I did not contribute to the latest FOSS4G-Europe (2024) in Tardu, Estonia at all. Tõnis Kärdi just picked the team and did it. I was not part of the local committee. I was not volunteering for anything. I was even not supposed to give any talk — I do not have a topic to talk about, remember? I just came there. I did not want to go. I was tired, I have a lot of my plate anyway, at work, at my home. It’s summer, beginning of holiday season. I wanted to take my family along, but it was impossible for make to make it.
So I came there, exhausted, depressed, not expecting anything, I came to survive it and do my work.
But from the day 1, I started to regenerate. I could hug some of old friends. People I see once in a couple of years and we continue our talk where we stopped last time. I met a lot of new people, who said how they love the event. I felt proud — did not contribute a minute of my time, but I happen to be there at the beginning, when first not even 200 people came in 2012 to Prague. I spotted some of the OSGeo board members, and I’m very thankful, they are still doing the work for all of us, dedicating their free time to the project. I saw too many people fall along the way, like I did.
So where am I now? House still unfinished. 3 kids fighting their way in the schools, needing a bit of our support. My wife still in the middle of her study. Me learning how to handle teams and products, no time for development or big data processing. No time for real research or software development — no free time or energy.
What could I do for the community, to feel the energy flow again? I do not think, it’s the software development. I never was good in it. I learned how to cut trees, not Python design patterns.
But maybe my current position is something, I could contribute again. I learn, how to prioritize things, how to get things done. How to see a value in products (what ever the product may be) and how to make sure, people get the value delivered. How to communicate with various team members, understand their motivations and dedication, trying not to screw it completely, still making them freely accept common priorities and work on them.
Maybe this is, what OSGeo and FOSS4G need right now. Maybe I could start contributing again. I’m still afraid, it would not be possible on longterm. I’m afraid, I’ll disappoint friends, who trust me. How many times can you abandon a project and people will still trust you?
So, if you are willing to give me one more chance, I would like to do a bit again. Most of you did much more then I ever did and managed not to burn out — thank you for holding in. I do not want to take over everything where I left it, but slowly contribute piece by piece, if you still need my help. Doing just the small things, I hope to understand, not trying to be everywhere and do everything. I hope, this time, it will be sustainable. And if my contribution is not needed anymore (nobody is waiting for me) that's OK too. I hope to be helping again to build what I’ve left.
I’m very thankful to Tõnis (and the team), to organize the best FOSS4G-Europe ever and having me there too. It was a new impulse of energy to me. I hope to use it well.
P.S. Sorry for being pathetic. Can’t help myself
